Fulfilling sexual desires when struggling to get married

Generally speaking, one cannot fulfil one’s sexual desires outside of marriage. The question then becomes: what solution is there for someone who needs to fulfil their sexual desires but are unable to get married?

Having said that, we are not aware that this type of question has been sent to the NAjaf Office, however, the below are some points which may help. We do not ascribe these points to the Office of Najaf, but they are gathered from experiences the Ansar have themselves faced.

We hope they help, but we do not take any responsibility that they will guarantee a solution. They are to be used at the individual’s discretion, who themselves are responsible in such a situation.

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Fasting:

It is known that fasting now only helps curb one’s sexual desires but also helps one to repair damaged cells (through a process known as Autophagy).

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Marriage:

Each person’s situation is different, however, if one is struggling to marry on a permanent basis, there is the possibility of conducting a mut’ah (temporary marriage) for a minimum of 6 months. Note: there are also other conditions of mut’ah marriage, which need to be carefully studied e.g. impregnating your partner is not allowed in a mut’ah marriage.

If one is hesitate to approach someone for marriage, perhaps they could approach them through a trusted friend or confidant.

Also, perhaps look outside one’s own ethnicity as well as within it and look for someone who is either an Ansari, or they have no enmity with the Prophet Muhammad and his family (pbuhahf)

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Things to avoid:

Masturbation – this is not allowed as per the Syed (as)

Avoiding all contact with anything lewd: including watching TV programmes or films that contain sexual themes

Also, avoiding direct contact with non maharim: these are women who are not blood relatives or someone with whom marriage is allowed. Further, chatting openly over social media or speaking to a woman in private will not help matters and should be avoided, unless, one is approaching them for marriage. To avoid creating an uncomfortable situation, speak to such a lady in the presence of another person (man or woman) so that there are three of you in the conversation.

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We hope the above help.